6/17/2026

you are never coming back and we both know it. contrary to popular belief, i am not stupid. i know i can live without you, i’ve done it before, but part of me has hope. i think part of me always will. the concept of saying one last thing and putting it away forever is jarring. maybe it’s for the best, maybe i will find the warmth you brought another day, but this grief is exhausting. you speak to me like you’re still in love with me, and maybe you are, but we know it’s not enough. or maybe it is too much, and in that case i wish you loved me a lot less. we dug this hole and now you’re laying me to rest. i know you’ll still visit me, maybe lay on my grave for a few hours, but in the end the dirt is going to be the last thing that will hold me.

i would’ve fought tooth and nail for this, i would’ve fought til there was nothing left of me. that’s love, right? or is loving leaving it be? i think we have different definitions of love, i think we always have. maybe that’s ultimately led to our demise, and maybe i hate it. i’ve grown a lot less sick but that amount of ache will never completely go away. you’ve grown far from me but that amount of love will never completely fade. i’m sure when you wake up next to other people you still think of me, i’m sure when someone else finally holds me i will still think of you.